HOLDING A GRUDGE IS HARMFUL

There are many reasons we feel justified in holding onto a grudge or unforgiveness. Anger may keep difficult emotions away for a time, but it's temporary, and when it's gone an emotional flood may follow.
Keeping a grudge takes a lot of time and emotional energy. Sometimes people fear letting go of it, often because we have rehearsed the hurt or betrayal over and over like a movie. Yes the idea of letting go and moving on can be terrifying. We become all too familiar with our self justified misery. We may feel that the other person does not deserve forgiveness. We may be holding onto that memory to ensure no-one can get close enough again to hurt us like that.
Yet we also deserve the freedom to move on, and by letting go we have the opportunity to embrace the present and the future. We can also use the energy expended on that grudge or resentment to care for ourselves and move forward. It also means the offender cannot keep hurting or controlling our emotional growth. We no longer allow them to chain us to the past keeping us a victim. We become a survivor, we are victorious and by taking that path we can start to heal and grow stronger.
Letting go is not always easy and just like quitting smoking we may need to try several times - but why hold onto thoughts of bitterness, revenge and resentment. Old toxic relationships and keeping open those fresh woulds are not what we deserve. Consider choosing to live life free from the heavy burden of resentment and the toxic effect of unforgiveness.
Every time we let something go free we are also freeing ourselves of the heavy burden of dragging that baggage around that is in turn causing us to be bitter and weary.
You may find it helpful to talk to a counsellor who will partner with you as you take this journey of freedom. Think about it. Let go and begin to build a better tomorrow.

Christine Buckingham
Ref: Debby and Bob Gass: The Word for Today, 2013.
        Kristin Armstrong, Work in Progress, 2009.